Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
