Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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