Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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