Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
