remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
