shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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