I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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