Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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