tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
