i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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