Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize