id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
