I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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