theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
