Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
