the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
