I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
