How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Sorry my hands just texted you
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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