I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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