Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
