There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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