pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Help. Why am I so naked?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
