sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
