that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
