I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
