I hate all girls vehemently.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
