Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
that is very illegal...i love you.
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