maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
