we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize