Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize