I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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