So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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