We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
