and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
