I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
This house was built for laser tag.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
