Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
