so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
