Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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