Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
