i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
