I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
