i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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