I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize