so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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