Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
