So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
