look no pants
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
