worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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