this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
