okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
