He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
