So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
