so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
