Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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