I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
