smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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