Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
