is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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