How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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