His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
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