i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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