I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
True strength comes from lack of pants
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
