god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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