i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
