When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
