Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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