i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize