Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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