I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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