White coat. Heels.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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