This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
