Buhtt sex?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
