I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
