Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
