So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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