I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
