she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
