and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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